What to Say
Scripts by Age Group
💬 Words You Can Use
✗ Try to Avoid
💬 Words You Can Use
✗ Try to Avoid
💬 Words You Can Use
✗ Try to Avoid
Common Questions
Questions Parents Often Ask
Yes — sharing a diagnosis with school allows for appropriate accommodations and support. You can work with the school to develop an IEP or 504 plan that sets your child up to succeed. You control what is shared and with whom.
Sit with their grief rather than rushing to fix it. Say: 'I hear that this is really hard. It's okay to feel sad about it.' Give them time to process before introducing the positive framing. Both things can be true: it can be hard and it can be okay.
Keep it simple and age-appropriate. 'Your brother's brain works a little differently and he needs some extra help with certain things. Our job is to be kind and patient, just like we always are.' Answer their questions honestly.
Many children with disabilities develop effective strategies and live fully independent lives. The early years of support often make the biggest difference. Focus on building skills and self-advocacy rather than on limitations.
When to Seek Extra Support
Signs Your Child May Need Additional Help
Expressing shame about the diagnosis or refusing to discuss it
Catastrophic thinking about their future ('I'll never have friends / a job / a normal life')
Increased anxiety, withdrawal, or loss of confidence after receiving the diagnosis
Bullying from peers that goes unaddressed
If you notice these signs, speak with a pediatric mental health professional. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not failure.
Trusted Resources
Where to Turn Next
Child Mind Institute — Understanding Your Child's Diagnosis
Expert guides on ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, and more.
Visit childmind.org →Understood.org
Comprehensive resource for families of children with learning and attention differences.
Visit understood.org →Autism Society of America
Support, advocacy, and community for autistic individuals and their families.
Visit autismsociety.org →The words you use about your child's diagnosis become the words they use about themselves. When you speak about their diagnosis with matter-of-fact love — as simply part of who they are — you give them permission to do the same. That is one of the most powerful gifts a parent can give.